Freedom
by k-marieee
Summary: Most say being 16 is to young to die.I do as well,but when you're doing it for a cause greater than yourself,I couldn't disargee more. Companion story for Learning to Live. Regs'POV. One-Shot!


**I don't own anything but my OC'S!**

**This story is a one shot written from Regulus' POV the night before and the night of his death.**

**Xx**

I look across the table at Aubrey, she was everything. I couldn't imagine myself being with anyone else. Actually I won't ever be with anyone else. By this time tomorrow I doubt I'll be here. I promised Zee, I know I did but just sitting here not doing anything- it's something I just can't do. I'm going to do something right in my life, something that I want to do, and I want to do this more than anything. I know what I'm giving up and I know what I'm going to lose but that doesn't matter to me anymore nothing matters. I stare at Aubrey for a few more minutes trying to memorize every detail about her. Her blonde hair that falls to her shoulders framing her heart shaped face, the same beauty mark she had right about her full lips, her tiny button nose, and lastly her big violet almond shaped eyes. The eyes that I could stare in forever. I blush as I realize that her eyes are staring back at me.

"What are you looking at Reg?" She asks, her tanned skin also flushing.

"You." Her blush deepens and she smiles. I instantly take a picture of it with my mind. Her smile could light up a whole room.

I watch as she looks at her watch and frowns. "I should really be heading back." I stand up alongside her.

"Bye Reg." She starts moving away from me. It was a sudden impulse that made me grab her wrist and bring her towards me, a sudden impulse that had me pressing my lips against hers. She responded immediately with the kiss, and wrapped her arms around my neck, as I brought her closer to me, as close as she could possibly get and it still wasn't close enough. I pull back, only to leave one more soft kiss on her lips. When she looks up at me with those bright eyes, I can't do it. I did the only thing I could do though. I run.

I run away from the library and all the way up to the room of requirements where I know Zee would be waiting for me. I stop as I reach the door panting and pace back and forth three times before opening it. I'm struck once again by the room. I look over the midnight blue walls, the ceiling made of glass, and the huge balcony where I saw Zee sitting, her feet dangling over the edge.

"Hey Zee."

"Hey Reg." I watched her looking at me intently. "You look happy. What happened?"

"I kissed Aubrey." I admit.

"You- You what?!" She exclaimed. "Tell me everything!"

"Well I went to the library to meet her like usual and well before I left I just kissed her, she kissed me back but then well, I bolted."

"You ran? Oh Reggie please tell me you're joking." She begs.

"No sorry, I'm not joking. I ran right here." I watched as she shook her head in disbelief.

"I can't believe you. Well she kissed you back, that's a good thing right?" I try and smile but fail miserably. Of course it's not a good thing. I wish she didn't kiss me back because now I know what I have to leave.

"I guess."

"You guess? It's wonderful. And I just wanted to take the time to rub it in your face that I was right. She clearly loved you!" She teased. I smile at Zee; wanting to do nothing more than be able to hear her laugh forever. I take it in, trying to remember the exact sound of her voice.

"Yeah, yeah." Wanting to get off the subject I ask, "How is it coming with Sirius?" She hung her head.

"It's not coming." She tells me. "He won't even look at me."

"Promise me you'll try and fix things with him." I beg. I curse mentally at my slip up, it even sounds like I'm leaving. Luckily she doesn't notice.

"Of course I'll try I just don't think he will take me back. He's really mad. I can't even explain to him."

"He'll take you back. I know it. He loves you!" She shakes her head.

"I'm not so sure."

We talked about this and that; I watched her laughing face and her smile. I let it brush across my skin breathing it all in never wanting it to end. I try and remember little things about her as we talk. I try and remember all the good times we had together. But then as it always does our conversation turns to the war.

"Zee?" I ask after a moment of silence. I had something to tell her and I was sure as hell going to do it.

"Huh?" She asks.

"Thank you. For everything." She looks confused.

"Don't thank me now; wait until you have you family and your brother. Then you can thank me." I don't know exactly what my face looked like, but I know what I felt. I felt sad, terribly sad.

"I hope that will happen." I mutter, clearly knowing it won't but I don't want to worry her.

"Of course it will!"

"How can you be so sure?" I ask.

She looks at me, and she looks older than I've ever seen her. "Because I'm hoping it will turn out that way, and hope is all I have."

"So you're not positive it will work out?" She closes her eyes and shakes her head.

"No." She admits, "And I'm scared."

"Don't be scared. What happens will happen. And there is nothing you can do. You can't go up against fate, not matter how hard you try." A tear rolls down her cheek. I wipe it away wanting to do nothing more than cry myself. I stand and pull her up with me and walk to the door only to stop again.

I pull her to me and hug her longer and closer than usual. I want to remember the way her arms felt around me. I kissed her scared cheek not pulling away from the hug. I want her to know how much she means to me. I want her to know that I cherish her love and friendship over everybody else's. I want her to know that I'm grateful for what she did. And the time she gave me even though it was short. This was going to be the last time I ever saw her. I break away from the hug and watch as she opens her mouth to tell me she loves me like always but I beat her too it.

"I love you Zee. Thank you so much." She looked at me in surprise, I didn't wait for her to say the words, I walked out of the door and don't look back.

Xx

That night back in the slytherin dorms I don't sleep. I can't sleep. How could you sleep knowing that you won't be here tomorrow? Or any day for that matter. That you'll be gone from the earth, from all your loved ones. I know what I'm doing. I can't let him do this. Dumbledore doesn't believe me, but I know what he's doing. There is a chance that I'll make it out alive tomorrow but there is something in my brain, something in my subconscious mind telling me that this is it. That I lived my life and I have nothing left. I can't help the feeling because I know deep down that it's true. I will die at the hands of Voldemort just like so many before me.

I can't help but think of all the regrets I've had in my life. All the time I wasted. Clearly, I wasn't cut out for the life of a Death Eater. I should have tried harder to be a Gryffindor. I should have tried harder to act like my brother. To get the courage to stand up to my parents, but I couldn't do it. I was a coward. A good for nothing slytherin coward. I wasted so much time trying to prove something to everyone, trying to do something my brother hadn't done. But it was stupid. I should have just been me, I should have believed the way I wanted to and thought for myself. I never hated muggle-borns, and people of half blood decent. I don't hate half breeds and I don't hate muggles. It nearly killed me having to keep of the façade as tough slytherin pureblood. I hated calling muggle-borns, mudbloods when I'm not ashamed to say that most of them were probably better at magic than I was. But I changed in the end. I have Xeomara to thank for that. She showed me that it was okay to myself and not worry about what other's thought. She taught me to love, and she taught me friendship. I wipe a tear from my cheek and roll over. She was my savior, she saved me from myself.

Xx

The next day I make myself as invisible as possible. I almost want to run to my brother and throw myself at his feet asking for forgiveness. But I won't do it. He'll know someday. I except Zee will tell him. And I trust Zee to tell my Angel too. I know she would tell her. And I hope she lives a long and happy life with a husband that loves her. I wipe another tear from my eyes and start doing what I had planned on doing. I pointed my wand to my temple and extracted every single memory inside my head and placed it in the pensieve Zee bought me for Christmas.

I then proceeded to watch my life. Yeah I know sounds ridiculous right? I'm dying and what am I doing? Watching my life through a pensieve. I cry as I watch all the memories of Sirius and I when we were younger. I really did love him. I still do, he is the best brother anyone could have asked for and I took him for granted. I wish I had known what my life would have been like now. I would have gone back and changed things done everything differently. I watch the next set of memories of me and my angel. I smile to myself at the first time we met. She had such a sharp tongue. I'll never forget the attitude she had shown me. The rest of my life was uneventful. I didn't live the life I should have. There were so many things I had yet to do, yet to accomplish.

Finally after packaging my pensieve, I sat down at the desk to write a letter to Zee. She deserved so much more than a letter but this was all I could give her.

_Hey there Zee,_

_I'm not going to say the 'if you're reading this than I must be dead' because you're not thick and you obviously know I am. Firstly I want to apologize. I wanted nothing more than to have the life that you set up for me. Reuniting with my brother, marrying Aubrey, being free but I couldn't do that. Not when I knew what was happening out there. I couldn't just let it go; it's all I think about. I know I promised you that I wouldn't go and I knew you asked me to wait for you but the truth is I can't wait. I didn't know how long it would take for you to come and for Dumbledore to believe me and I just feel like I just have to do it. Just me. Secondly I want to thank you. You spent so much time and sacrificed so much for me. The last time I felt like I belonged with someone was when Sirius and I were still little. You treated me like and little brother and you helped me so much more than you'll know. You helped me be me again when I lost myself and for that I will be eternally grateful. And I loved you for that. You know before I met you I wasn't so sure there was such a thing as love and I sure as hell never told anyone that but with you, you told me every time I left and I never felt comfortable saying it back even though you know I did. Now that I think about it you probably did that because you didn't know how much time we had left. And to be honest we didn't really have much time. I wish we had more time. But in the short amount of time I knew you I've grown closer to you than I ever have with anyone else. So remember the good times Zee because they'll always be there. I have something to help you remember and that brings me to my third thing. I'm leaving you the pensieve you bought me for Christmas with all my memories filled in there. I emptied them in there right before I wrote this letter. I want you to look at them. For me. I want you to see how much you changed me because I know you. I know that you feel guilty right now but you shouldn't. Though probably no matter what I say you'll always feel guilty. But try for me okay? The memories might even help you. I also wanted to let you know that I left Sirius my fortune. All of it. I figured you wouldn't want anything as superficial as money and besides you are rich enough as it is. My parents don't know where it is going though. I also left you my owl. I figured you'd raise him for me. Little Sunshine would love being with you. I'm dropping this letter and my things off at the ministry before I go do what I have to do. I'm really sorry. Please don't be mad at me. Well there isn't really much left to say, well there is one thing and it makes it so final that I don't want to. So final that when I think about your face when I say it that I have tears pouring down my own. I don't want to say it, I want to say anything but this but well I can't not say it because I want you to have this, even though you can't say it to me. Well here it goes: Good Bye Sister, We'll meet again. I Promise._

_Love always,_

_Reggie._

I wipe more tears off my face and stand up. I hurry down the steps with the letter and the package held tightly under my arm avoiding everyone. I run outside and to hogsmeade were I appirated to the ministry. I go to the fourth floor where I knew a lawyer would be waiting.

"You must be Mr. Black." The secretary says as I walk through the door. I nod. "Right through that door." I walk through the door, and see a balding old man in robes stretched tightly across his stomach.

"Hello There Mr. Black."

"Good evening Sir."

"I take it you have the possessions you owled me about." I nod and hand him the letter and the box.

"I don't wish you to tell my brother about the money, or my parents for that matter."

"Of course, of course." He says absently. "Just sign here." I take the quill and sign my name in cursive along the bottom of the page. "A little young to be making a will don't you agree?"

"No." He looks shocked. "If that will be all?" He nods. "Thank you." With that I sweep out the door way and apparate immediately back to Hogwarts. I walk into the slytherin common room, avoiding my cousin as she tries to talk to me and walk up to my thankfully empty dorm and start packing. I throw all my school work away; don't need this where I'm going I think bitterly. Once everything is packed I look at my clock noticing it's almost ten, the time I wanted to leave, But there is one last thing I have to do.

I run as fast as I possibly can to the Ravenclaw common room. I knock on the eagle knocker.

"What is death?" I laugh bitterly at the question

"Death is something yet to be conquered." I answer promptly. The door swings open and I notice that none of the Ravenclaws were in here. None of them but my angel, My Aubrey. It's almost as if she knew I was coming.

"Regulus?" She asks getting up and walking towards me. I swallow the large lump in my throat.

"I needed to see you."

"Reggie, you- I haven't seen you all day. After that kiss you just ran off on me." I feel the tears well up in my eyes, but I blink them away.

"You are such a great person. You decided to become friends with me. With a slytherin that's supposed to be a death eater. Yet you overlooked all of that, all of the bad things in my life, and you befriended me. You have no idea how much I will always cherish that. How much I will always cherish you."

"Reg I-" I put my finger to her lips.

"Don't say anything. Please don't say anything." She nods and I remove my hands. I cup her cheeks in my hand and caress it with my thumb before hesitantly kissing her. When my mouth meets hers I feel the same fireworks I felt last night. She responds to the kiss the same way and I feel the tears well up in my eyes again. Her mouth parts undermine and our tongues meet. I pour everything into this kiss hoping it will be enough for her, be enough for me. Because I know she loves me, she loves me and I'm leaving her. I slowly pull back from the kiss. She opens her violet eyes and stares into my grey ones.

"I love you." I say as I turn away from her tears now pouring down my face. She calls my name but I don't listen to her as I run through the corridors and out the door. If she would have said it back, I would have never been able to leave. If I heard the words leave her lips my life would have been hers. But I needed to do this. I needed to do this because I know if I did this, it would set me free.

Xx

"Master Regulus." Kreacher says as I enter my house and look into the old cupboard that he usually resided in. I make sure I have all traces of the tears off my cheek. There was no turning back now and I knew that.

"Kreacher, I order you to take me to cave where Voldemort took you." His eyes widened in shock but he did what I asked. He gripped my wrist tightly in his and with a loud crack we apparated to a cave by the shore.

"This way Master Regulus." I followed him inside and he showed me where I needed to draw blood to enter. I took out a knife in my pocket and made a cut across my palm smearing it on the rock. We entered and walked to a little boat. He explained to me that we had to cross the lake. I took in a deep breath and got in as did Kreacher. The lake was filled with inferi that much I was sure off. We sailed quietly to the other side of the lake and once it hit then land we walked out of the boat and over to a large basin filled with green potion. I could see the locket gleaming at the bottom. I reached my hand to grab it but I couldn't even touch the potion. I tried everything I knew, but I still couldn't do it.

"You have to drink the potion, master." He told me. Well this is it. I turn towards Kreacher and kneel down in front of him, taking the fake horcrux out of my pocket.

"Kreacher, listen to me. It is very important." He nods. "Once the basin is empty I want you to switch the lockets." I say handing him the locket I was holding. "I want you to leave me here, and to never tell anyone what we did." She starts shaking his head. "KREACHER!" I yell. "Do you understand me? I forbid you to tell anyone." He nods, and I walk back over to the potion. I dip the cup back in the potion and drain it.

I do cup after cup and after a while I drop to my knees in pain, clutching my head in agony. I see a little boy with the biggest blue eyes twitching in pain as I do the cruciatus curse on him.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I sob, I shake my head and reach in to grab more potion, after I drain this I see myself torturing Zee.

"No! No! Please make it stop!" I drink more Potion and see various images, my brother and I, and each one brings blinding pain to my head.

"Just kill me please!" I scream as I finish off the last of the potion. I fall completely on my face my head towards the water.

"Go Kreacher!" I scream, as I hear him standing next to me. "GO!" But he doesn't leave. I look up and see a tall dark figure standing at the other side of the lake. I can see his red eyes from here, and the unmistakable smirk on his lips. This is it. It's really over. I watch his lips moving muttering some type of curse with his wand out. Something grips my hands, but I close my eyes already knowing it was the inferi. I hear Kreacher screaming from behind me but I just tone him out. I begin thinking of everything I wanted to try and remember as I'm being pulled under the surface of the lake. I think of Sirius when we were little how all the times I used to go in his room during thunderstorms. I remember the exact sound of Zee's voice and the way she sounded as she laughed. It becomes harder and harder for me to hold my breath as the air is squeezed from my lungs, specks of black start forming in my vision. It's sort of ironic, the way I'm dying. I basically spent my whole life underwater, living in the Slytherin common room. It sort of makes sense that I'm dying here as well.

_Aubrey_, I thought to myself. And suddenly my mind is clear, it's like all the pain is taken away and it leaves me oddly peaceful. I remember her small slender figure that barely reached my chest. Her short blonde hair that framed her heart shaped face, her full lips that created the most beautiful smile in the world. The softness of his skin, and then I remember her eyes. The exact color and shape. I think of those eyes picturing the way the violet would stare at me. Her laugh sounds in my head, the most musical sound I've ever heard. But I continue to stare at her eyes because as long as I stare at them I'll be okay. As long as I stare at them, I'm _free_.


End file.
